We're getting married in the morning....

The Department was asked by the parliamentary opposition to come up with something which would promote the institution of marriage in this land of ours as apparently loads of people just can't be bothered with it.

We asked around and apparently the huge cost of weddings puts a lot of people off.

We were informed that the average cost of a wedding was around £15,000. So why not give married couples an incentive that will pay for it? At £150 a year, by the time that 100 years had passed, the wedding would be wholly subsidised by the taxpayer.

And although that seems quite a long while, no-one would accuse us of short-termism.

We were delighted to hear that our thinking has been adopted by the Conservative Party. There will be an additional tax allowance to help married couples pay for their weddings just as we suggested.

This will be paid for by a levy on banks who will then presumably pass this on to borrowers, including those who borrow to finance their weddings. It's a neat circular solution which once again demonstrates our huge value as a thinktank.